The unfortunate thing about toxic relationships is that they rarely ever seem toxic to begin with. Much like the incredibly lethal, insidious chemical strychnine – colorless and ultimately causing death from asphyxiation – the pain caused by these relationships can often appear harmless or invisible, even inviting at first, but soon the heartbeats get more terrifyingly frantic and rapid, leading to something suffocating rather than charming or comforting. Movie Brain, the dream pop project of Tennessee native Jonathan Sellers, explores this particular concept in their track of the same name, but, much like his past works, partly makes it a point to shroud the lyrical darkness in gorgeous, hazy swirls of synth and deep, soothing bass, his focused, yet impassioned vocals smothered in a thick blanket of reverb. Though he nearly falls back into his tortured thoughts towards the beginning (“Solace/ I’ve been looking for it daily/ Nobody calls me baby”), you can almost see him shaking his head and walking the other way, respectfully singing “so long/ loving you was strychnine/ poisoning my bloodflow/ poisoning my damn mind” with an imaginary wave of his hand. But most interesting is the way his vocals remain soft, completely free of contempt or malevolence, a genuine realization of both parties’ mistakes rather than a blatant attack on their individual personalities. He even succeeds in giving it that wonderfully cinematic, far away quality, which also fittingly appears throughout the rest of his upcoming album Fernweh, named after the German term for “farsickness:”
“This album is, to me, a process of healing, celebration of love, and the grief that comes with loss…Fernweh is a German word that literally means ‘Far-sickness’ or longing for far off places. Longing for another place far off, or even just the idea. Fernweh the album is about realizing how short life is, and loving, losing, and becoming aware of everything that goes on around you. But in contrast, it’s about taking the time that we have and using it for good, for change or for love or for whatever we want!”
The album is ultimately a product of intense heartache and strife, and it shows once you dive a little deeper. And although Sellers mentioned that he’s slightly taken aback whenever others point out how emotional his music can be under the disguise of shimmers and glimmers, it’s this humanity, this honesty, this directness perpetually and permanently embedded in his compositions, that keeps his version of dream pop genuine, the vulnerability that makes it strong.
Fernweh will be released on June 18th.
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photo by Goldie Paris
kid with a vinyl 